I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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