You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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