So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
