the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize