It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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