he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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