Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize