I don't think brook has ever known best
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
