You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
