Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
