you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
