i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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