My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
