Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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