Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
