You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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