I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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