I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
