I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Randomize
