meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
