I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
