Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
