paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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