the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
