Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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