I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
