I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were destined to go to rehab together
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
