Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
