i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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