is your mom at the bar?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
