I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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