I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
