We're facebook friends in real life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
