In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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