these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
