...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Umm I'm too high to move.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
