Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
