Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
