I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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