So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
