Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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