Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were trust falling into bushes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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