Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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