i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
