It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
