At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
