Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
