So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
