Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
