So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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