it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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