So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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