Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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