you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
