Welp...herpes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
