Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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