I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
