literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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