My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
only you would photoshop your dick
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
