Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
handjob tips. give me some.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
