everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize