it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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