I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
